Dating is one thing and flirting is an entirely different one. Flirting can be a blast, but it can also be extremely anxiety-inducing if you overthink it. Some people are naturals and can flirt without, well, batting an eye, while many of us struggle. But even harder than flirting itself is trying to decipher whether or not someone is flirting with you.
It can be potentially embarrassing when you assume someone is flirting with you and they’re not. (What if they aren’t flirting with you but you think they are and start to flirt back?!) Well, luckily, there are quite a few really common ways people flirt and once you know them it’s not that hard to spot them.
Next time you’re wondering if you’re just reading too much into something or if someone is really flirting with you, check out these common flirting signs.
Their eye contact is excellent.
Some of us are too shy to truly make eye contact with our crushes or people we’re interested in; others just feel awkward about looking someone in the eye so intently. Eye contact is really important, though. Not only is it a surefire way to communicate that you’re feeling someone, it’s also a sign of respect, if it’s not overdone.
If someone is talking to you, and they make eye contact with you, don’t break it. Look into their eyes and let them know you are listening to them. There is some intense sexual tension that staring into someone’s eyes can bring. If they keep initiating it, it may be a sign they’re interested.
There’s a lot soft touching.
Let’s say you’re out with a group of friends and you aren’t sure if a mutual pal is flirting with you or not. One definite thing to look out for is if they find an excuse to be close to you, especially if it includes a gentle or soft touch. It’s important to note that just anyone grabbing at you is not flirtation, but the key is to look for the softer touch. A graze against your lower back or knee. Someone reaching over to brush hair from your face. A lingering arm around your shoulders. These touches are always a great sign that someone is into you.
They’re talking to you… a lot.
This goes double for when you’re not around one another. Texting or messaging is one of the best and easiest ways for people to flirt these days. If you’re together in a group and they are constantly talking to you—asking questions and following up—that’s a great sign that they’re into you.
And when you two are apart, if they reach out to you at least every other day, there’s a really good chance they’re feeling you. Pay attention to the type of texts they send you. Is it just saying hi? Is it emoji heavy? Are they playfully teasing you? These are all flirtatious moves. Embrace them!
The compliments are flowing.
Does your crush constantly seem to notice everything? They noticed your new hair cut when no one else did. They love your new shirt. They laugh at every joke you make. (Definitely can be considered a compliment!) Compliments, especially when they really seem genuine, are a great flirting sign that let you know your crush is just as into you as you are into them.
They try to impress you.
If they rush out to buy the book you recently recommended, or they binge watched the first season of your favorite show—pay attention. Impressing you, whatever that may look like, is a super flirtatious thing to do. If someone has taken note of what you like and went out of their way to try to relate to you in that specific way, they are almost certainly into you.
It’s so nice to find something in common with a crush, but it’s also very sweet when they attempt to impress you by broadening their own horizons. Pay attention to the person who remembers what you like and tries to connect with you over it.
They try to hold your hand.
Of course someone who tries to hold your hand is into you. It’s on the bolder side of flirting, but it still definitely counts.
They ask you out.
It can seem like a “no duh,” but for many people, being asked out directly is so rare that it can feel confusing when it actually happens. If someone looks you in the eye, gently grabs your hand, and asks you out to dinner on an official date, it’s pretty concrete that they are into you. If they text you that they’d like to take you out on a date, they’re interested. Being bold and direct can be just as flirtatious as being coy and cute. Both are great, both are somehow easy to miss. But if someone wants to take you out, they like you. Go for it.
Flirting is so much fun, but can also be incredibly confusing. It’s hard to not know if someone is just flirty with everyone around them or if they actually like you. The key to figuring it out is to pay attention to context clues, observe how they interact with other people, and try to have some confidence in yourself. Of course they like you. wWhat’s not to like?